The Springtime of Love
Falling in love is like springtime. We feel as though we will be happy
forever. We cannot imagine not loving our partner.
It is a time of innocence. Love seems eternal. It is a magical time
when everything seems perfect and works effortlessly. Our partners seems
to be the perfect fit. We effortlessly dance together in harmony and
rejoice in our good fortune.
The Summer of Love
Throughout the summer of our love we realize our partner is not as perfect
as we thought,
and we have to work on our relationship. Not only is our partner from
another planet, but he or she is also a human who makes mistakes and
is flawed in certain ways. Frustration and disappointment arise; weeds
need to be uprooted and plants need extra watering under the hot sun.
It is no longer easy to give love and get the love we need.
We discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel
loving. It is not our picture of love.
Many couples at this point become disillusioned. They do not want to
work on a relationship.
They unrealistically expect it to be spring all the time. They blame
their partners and give up.
They do not realize that love is not always easy;
sometimes it requires hard work under a hot sun. In the summer season
of love,
we need to nurture our partner's needs as well as ask for and get the
love we need. It doesn't happen automatically.
The Autumn of Love
As a result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest
the results of our hard work.
Fall has come. It is a golden time-rich and fulfilling.
We experience a more mature love that accepts and understands our partner's
imperfections as well as our own.
It is a time of thanksgiving and sharing.
Having worked hard during the summer we can relax and enjoy the love
we have created.
The Winter of Love
Then the weather changes again, and winter comes.
During the cold, barren months of winter, all of nature pulls back within
itself. It is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal. This is a time
in relationships when we experience our own unresolved pain or our shadow
self.
It is when our lid comes off and our painful feelings emerge. It is
a time of solitary growth when we need to look more to ourselves than
to our partners for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing.
This is the time when men hibernate in their caves and women sink to
the bottom of their wells.
After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love,
then spring inevitably returns.
Once again we are blessed with the feelings of hope, love, and an abundance
of possibilities. Based on the inner healing and soul searching of our
wintery journey, we are then able to open our hearts and feel the springtime
of love.