2. Tame the wild barbarians. Good manners never go out of style. Insisting on them will help your child learn respect and aid in countless social situations, from playing in the soccer files to interviewing for a job.
3. Teach the value of a dollar. Initiating an allowance when your child is around 4 years old can be a terrific learning tool. As kids grow, teach them the basics of budgeting, borrowing, and investing. "A lot of schools don't cover personal finance and investing, and you'll do your kids a tremendous favor," says Sarah Pacchetti, president of WomensFinance.com, an online financial resource.
4. Let them fail. Children, like adults, often learn more from their mistakes. If your son won't take responsibility for learning his multiplication tables, don't nag -- let them get an F on the math assignment. Next time, he may work harder. If your daughter is chronically late, let her miss the bus to the ski outing. She'll be more punctual for the next trip.
5. Use the "off" button. "Television, computers and video games can promote antisocial behavior, so set firm limits on "screen time."
6. Give their hearts to Daddy. The evidence is overwhelming that children with involved father reap lifelong benefits. A recent study from the University of California at Santa Barbara found that children raised in fatherless homes are more than twice as likely to become teen mothers or adolescent delinquents. Encourage your husband to have alone time with the kids. "I can't spend a lot of time with my children during the week because of work. Weekends are my time to really focus on them," says Peter Sims of Madison, Connecticut, whose sons are 2 and 6. "Our special time is on Sunday mornings when my wife sleeps in. Even ordinary things like making breakfast and raking leaves make me realize that the kids give me back so much more than I can possibly give them," he says.
7. Remember: You're not their friend. Your job isn't to win a popularity contest; it's to raise caring, capable adults. Sometimes you have to raise your voice, sometimes you have to take away privileges. With luck, someday your children will thank you for loving them enough to have firm rules.
8. Promote free time. "Many parents have convinced themselves that the only productive way for kids to play is in a structured, adult supervised program," says Carleton Kendrick, LCSW. Family therapist for the Learning Network, a Web site for parents. "But recent scientific research supports the theory that self-initiated, unstructured creative play and physical activity are the most important practices for a child to develop at all levels," he says.
9. Take an interest. Whether you kids are into grunge music or Pokemon, ice hockey or Scooby Doo, ask questions and get involved. Kids love to be experts in something their parents don't know much about.
10. Hand over the broom. Daily housework teaches your children responsibility and helps you as well. Involve them in cooking and cleaning; even have them be responsible for Sunday breakfasts.
11. Give thanks. If you could give your kids all the toys and video games they want, it still wouldn't be enough. Instead, teach them to be grateful for what they have, Catie Gosselin of Townsend, Massachusetts, keeps a "gratitude chart" in her kitchen. "Every evening, we all list something that we are thankful for that day," says the mother of 6- and 8-year-old sons. "Our intention is to show our children the importance of gratitude in matters large and small."
12. Pick you battles. Most children eventually rebel in one way or another. By letting them do so in small ways, you let them have their independence without creating an even bigger rift.
13. Practice the love of the game. From Candy Land to Monopoly, games are a terrific way to have fun as a family. "Even the simplest of board and card games teach sorting and logic skills, fairness, rules and, most of all, social interaction," says Jeannette Lofas, president and founder of the Stepfamily Foundation Inc. in New York City.
14. Catch kids being good. Praise is balm for children as well as adults.
15. Ignore the "I'm bored" mantra. It's not your responsibility to entertain your children. Boredom can often spur creativity. Don't deprive your kids of this important lesson!
16. Nurture the spiritual. "I think it's important to 'take' children to worship rather than 'send' them," says Clint Kelly, author of Dare to Raise Exceptional Children. "They need to see that it is a priority in your life if it is ever to become a priority in theirs. In church, our four children have found people who give them reinforcement for making the right choices - without the label of 'parental sermon.'"
17. Have lots of quick conversations. Talk in the car on the way to school instead of listening to the radio. Have a chat while you're making dinner. Sometimes the best conversations - and the things that make you feel most connected to your kids - happen at impromptu moments.
18. Encourage helping hands. "From the time our daughters were small, my husband and I involved them in whatever volunteer work we were doing," says Julia Mears of Iowa City, Iowa, a mother of 20- and 22- year old daughters. "Those activities gave us the chance to talk about issues of justice and fairness, and the responsibility we all have to help others. Today both our daughters regularly volunteer. They learned at a young age that the world is full of large and small tasks that need to be done by someone, and that it might as well be us."
19. Take time off. Every mother deserves and needs time just for herself. Don't feel guilty about taking it. Susan Pollack of Huntington Woods, Michigan, a mother of a 9-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son, relishes taking occasional overnight trips without her children. "Being away from home helps me recharge my batteries, expand my horizons and put all the daily stresses in perspective," she says. "When I return, I find that I appreciate my home and children much more."
20. Show your love every day. Don't wait for birthdays and holidays to let your children know how much you love them. Susan Newman's book Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Child Feel Special Every Day is full of suggestions. Start a pillow fight. Put funny notes in your child's lunchbox. Spend a few minutes each night tucking him/her in. And don't forget to say "I love you" every day. It's easy, it takes only a minute and it's probably the single most important thing you can do to raise a great kid.
Article from Woman's Day Magazine